The Throne Report

The Throne Report — a small throne found in the orchard

2026-10-21

THE THRONE REPORT — every throne, every rumor, every week.

Orchard workers made an unusual discovery yesterday: a small stone throne sitting quietly between the apple rows, half-shaded by branches, doing absolutely nothing.

"It was just there," said one picker. "Small. Mossy. Nobody was near it. Nobody was fighting about it. Honestly it was the calmest thing I've seen all month."

That calm has the scholars worried. Thrones, as every reader knows, tend to multiply while people fight over them. A throne nobody is fighting over is, in the words of one researcher, "either a very good sign or a very strange one."

The Throne Report will keep watching. Sitting, as always, is allowed. Claiming is not. The orchard throne remains unclaimed, unhurried, and — for now — unpicked.

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